


Car Chases, Bar Brawls, and Sneak Attacks

by canardroublard



Series: Fictober 2018 [16]
Category: The Man From U.N.C.L.E. (2015)
Genre: Established Relationship, Fluff, Humour, Multi, Pre-Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-18
Updated: 2018-10-18
Packaged: 2019-08-04 04:42:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16340036
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/canardroublard/pseuds/canardroublard
Summary: Illya has always found the simple things in life to be the most fun. A good game of chess. Sparring against a well-matched opponent. A shopping trip to a chic boutique.His new partners, on the other hand, seem to be completemaniacswho find fun in chaos and high speeds and punches thrown and rather astonishing amounts of property damage.But somehow, they'rehismaniacs.





	Car Chases, Bar Brawls, and Sneak Attacks

"This is gonna be so much fun!"

The first time one of Illya's new partners says this, he thinks little of it.

Which was, in retrospect, a mistake.

Because Gaby, as he learns, is an absolute maniac who thinks high-speed car chases constitute 'fun', and Solo is a terrible, awful enabler whenever it's her.

Afterwards, when they stop long enough to check the damage, Illya presses his fingers against the stress headache building behind his eyes. They'll never be welcome in Istanbul again. Meanwhile Gaby eyes the long gashes on the side of their rental, surprisingly pragmatic.

"Probably should've sprung for the extra insurance," she comments. "Still, that _was_ fun." Solo nods his agreement.

Illya just groans.

 

 

* * *

 

 

"This is gonna be so much fun."

The next time, It's Solo, the words said back to Gaby while he joins Illya in the other room.

"No," Illya tells him.

"You didn't even hear the plan!" Solo protests.

"What did Gaby say?"

"She said it sounded fun, too."

"No," Illya reiterates, more certain. Whatever sounds fun to _both_ of them is definitely bad news. Another headache, no doubt.

Later, as Illya dabs at Solo's split lip, he asks whether starting that bar brawl was worth it.

"Worked, didn't it?" Solo says. "Distracted everyone long enough for you to sneak in, grab the intel."

"And was it 'fun'?" Illya questions drily.

"Oh yeah, that was great." Solo grins like a fox. Somehow, he's never looked more handsome, split lip and all.

"Can we do that again next weekend?" Gaby asks, bright, wandering into the room.

Maniacs. Both of them.

 

 

* * *

 

 

"This is gonna be so much fun."

This time, long after the first two, it's Gaby again, but now conspiring with Napoleon.

Curious, Illya feigns napping on the couch as their footsteps creep closer. They pause standing over him. He fights to keep his mouth from twitching in a smile.

A second later Gaby has half crawled, half jumped atop him, settling astride his stomach, Cowboy leaning in to tickle his ribs, forcing Illya to give up the pretense as he yelps and tries to dodge their attack without elbowing either of them. He's giggling, somehow. What a dreadful indignity.

They allow him a reprieve eventually, Gaby sitting back to smile down at him, a few wavy tendrils spilling from her messy bun and brushing her neck. Napoleon nudges Illya over to sit on the couch, idly kissing the round of Gaby's bare shoulder, his hair messy, too, in loose curls that wander across his forehead. Illya still can't believe he gets to see them like this.

"So, did we surprise you?" Gaby asks.

"I was completely shocked," he deadpans, earning a roll of her eyes. "You know, shouldn't sneak up. I could hurt you," he adds, more serious. He's a trained killer. A martial arts champion too. Most of his personnel files include some variant of 'violently unstable'.

"We're not afraid of you," Napoleon says affectionately.

"Maniacs," Illya grumbles, gruff, fond.

They just grin.

**Author's Note:**

> Written for Fictober, for the prompt "This is gonna be so much fun".
> 
> Also, Illya is 100% the primary 'mom friend' of this trio and I cannot be persuaded otherwise.


End file.
